Monday, December 13, 2010

Giants, Ogres and other Fairytale Creatures...that I live with

Hi I'm Allison and I live with an Ogre. Well, I married an Ogre and so that's why I live with one... And then we had a baby, a 10 and a half pound baby who's well on his way to becoming a future Ogre himself . I don't mean Ogre in the ugly, scary, green, shrek kind of Ogre, my husband is after all very handsome. So maybe in technical fairytale terms he's actually a Giant rather than an Ogre. Ogre just sounds so much better, and I like to tease him :)

ok, ok enough with the antics, but there IS no denying that my husband, whom I love to a million pieces, more than anything in the whole entire universe, is very tall and large. At 6'8" 250lbs I never had a reason to notice just how extraordinarily loud my man is, until I just put our baby son to bed and the Ogre decides it's time to walk around, which practically sounds like marching band practice "Boom, Boom, Boom! Thud, Thud!"... oh and did I mention the Ogre's dog? Of course we couldn't have a normal size dog, we have to have the 140lb Bernese Mountain Ogre dog, who makes just as much if not more noise moving about! (I cant blame it entirely on AJ and the dog, our fabulous and charming craftsman high-water bungalow built in 1920 doesn't really help the situation either. With all of the original oak flooring, there are definitely some squeaky spots, and because the first floor of our house is built up a half story above the slab, its louder than a normal home with first floor on-slab.)

I have become that mother, yes friends, I am the "Ssshhhhhhhh!!!!" monster. It's terrible. He stomps through the house "Feeeee-Fiiii-Fooooo-Fuuum!!" and I tip-toe around making a gawd awful "SHHHHHHHH!!" at every noise he makes.

Somebody please help us.

If you ever happen to run across a book titled "Teaching a Giant to Tip-Toe" please pick me up a copy. and also, if you happen to spot another book by the title of "Teaching your Psycho Shhhhuuushing Wife to Chill-the-*heck*-out" I'm sure AJ would be most appreciative.

I leave you with my adorable baby giant, or is it giant baby?... is there a difference? Here is cuteness himself. The "Bee" that we heart.


  1. I got that bee shirt! And your story made me giggle friend:-) xoxo

  2. Cute bee shirt! What brand is it?
    Regarding the "shhhhhh'ing"....I am the worst! I became the shhhhhhush Monster shortly after Jake was born and am still that way with Baby #2! My dogs really get it if they make a sound and if they bark......well, they are lucky I haven't made them into terrier jerkey by now! I feel your pain Alli Shhhhhush Monster and completely understand!! :)

  3. @Julie, so glad to hear I'm not the only Shhhh-monster out there :~) the Bee shirt brand is Little Green Radicals, it's the softest cotton and I love it! If you Google the brand you'll see some sites that sell it!