Thursday, September 2, 2010

Gracious-sakes Holy-moly!

This is hard! My first week at home, alone, with baby man. Hard doesn't begin to describe it. I have new found respect for all of the mothers I know- I had no idea! Being a mom is demanding in every way, mentally, physically, emotionally...etc.

Up until now, my shock of this discovery has been delayed because AJ has been home and he shared caring for baby b, didn't seem so bad, but now with this being AJ's first week back to work and my first week on my own WOW! It's not just that its a lot of work, it's because this is my most precious treasure and I want to be 100% all the time with him. Given all of my Type A perfectionist-isms :), I cant remember a time in my life I have wanted to do my best, more than I do right now, as Bowman's mother. It's the biggest and most welcomed responsibility and honor I can imagine.

It's amazing how easily I feel guilty, over small things- watching the tv for 2 minutes while feeding him only to look back down at him to find the most beautiful blue eyes gazing up at me in wonder and amazement which immediately makes me feel like I've just neglected our son...2 minutes feels like it may as well have been 2 hours. I'm caring for the most beloved little baby, and being fully engaged while fully exhausted is tough people!! ...and I've had help 3 days this week, our Doula Anita came for 4 hours in the mornings. Heaven sakes! I love this little guy so much!!!

(still getting the hang of taking video on AJ's iPhone)

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