Monday, March 22, 2010

Dear Baby Bowman

Your mother has been thinking a lot about what will happen when it's time for you to be born. I have felt a lot of fear and panic about what will happen and how. I struggle with the fact that ultimately I have no control over unforeseen circumstances. After lots of worry, research, tears, discussions with your dear father, more research, and lots of books I think I have finally found the answer.

You see, I have been in an emotional predicament based on size for the most part. It boils down to one great big question: Are you going to be too big to fit?

Along with that question comes the fact that ultimately, the doctors can't ever know for sure the size of the baby right before birth. I hear all the time of a baby that's thought to be a 10-pound whopper prior to birth, turning out to be 6 or 7 pounds and also vice-versa. There really is just no way to know.

I have to take into account the fact that both your father and I were very large at birth born to very petite mothers. I was 10-pounds 23-inches and your father was the same!! The chances of you being a a big boy yourself are fairly high to say the least.

Your mother has found new strength and determination to do everything within my power to bring you into this world naturally. (I would call it the way God intended, but we won't know the way God intended until you are actually born- however you end up arriving will be exactly the way God intended! :) Your parents are going to be as educated and well informed and choose the birthing method we feel will give us the best chance for achieving a natural birth. The most effective thing we can do as your parents is to make sure our preparation and actions are in alignment with our "dream scenario" best possible birth experience.

I am so amazed by how strong my love and care for you is. I have always mused on the way I would want to give birth, tossing possibilities around like tossing baby names around- with nonchalance. My attitude for the most part was "bring on the pain medicine" and "just knock me out completely and wake me up when it's over" seriously. It's all so different now that it's actually real, no longer hypothetical. You are actually here, inside me and someday soon I will be holding you in my arms, and this is all such a miracle. My body is growing and nurturing you and it knows what to do. The reality of it changes all perspective I thought I had. I am willing to do whatever it takes to do what's best for you, and ultimately I think what is best for you will also be best for me. This is our journey together and I want it to be wonderful.

We are going to tour Sutter Davis Family Birthing Center , (in Davis, CA about 20 minutes away) this Thursday evening. It is one of the most advanced in the country. This hospital is 1 of 60 in the country with the esteemed Baby-Friendly Hospital designation. The Birth Center offers many alternative birthing and labor amenities such as water birthing, active birthing and a staff of Doulas and Midwives as well as OB's. This would mean switching from our current OB, Dr. Burman, whom we love but I think Sutter Davis will provide the environment most conducive to achieving the birth we want.

I have also found the birthing method your daddy and I are going to learn in the next few months, taught by a very experienced and accredited instructor who we may also hire to be our/your Birth Doula. More about that later.

Your mother is feeling more hopeful and excited than ever about your arrival! Keep kicking little man!! I love you.


  1. Oh friend, your gonna be such a good mama:)

  2. This is such a beautiful letter to baby Bowman! You're such a good Mama. Isn't crazy how much you can love something you haven't even met yet?!? And I love your choice in birth books. Ina May was my favorite and Chase was a Hypno-baby, it was so peaceful. Good luck on your journey, you're going to be great!